Grey day

When I finally went outside today, the sky was grey and low, like it was going to snow. I'd been sitting inside all day feeling sorry for myself so I was cold and a bit on the achy side. There I was, outside, on this cold, grey, achy day when I saw this black-eyed susan and I thought how everything about her is beauty and light and here I am, somewhere dismal and bleak without her. And the tears started to catch in my throat. I got halfway to my car with my jaw clenched tight and my eyes narrowed against the perpetual flood of grief, when I realized: I could see the sky. And I looked around and I saw the clouds, low and grey, sloping down to hills with houses carved into them and roads crisscrossing the thick green flesh as far as my weepy little eyes could see and I thought: This is only New Jersey!

You have my heart.